Librarian

March 2, 2016

Librarian

So there I am
at the reference desk as always
and here you come again.

I know you visit on Thursdays.
You go straight to what you want,
no wandering the aisles.

No asking for help
finding something special,
my loss.

My eyes follow you as always.
They linger on your form
and I try not to think rude, selfish thoughts
as I notice others watching too.

This time you pass closer to my desk.
You notice my eyes on you.
You smile.

I am blinded.
Breathless.
Lost, lost,
lost.

You stop.
I try to catch my breath.
My smile is hesitant,
then full. I can actually
feel
my eyes twinkling at you.

“You wanna get coffee with me?
Or tea. Whatever you drink… Uh…”

I can’t believe you are as hesitant as I am.
You look so confident.
Oh shit, I need to answer…

“Yes! Um, yes, coffee is nice, I love coffee.”
(…blithering…)
I feel foolish.

But you smile again.
“When do you get off?”

I hesitate, gulp, OH!

“Off work, you mean?”
(…O M G …)

You chuckle, and I love the sound of it.
“Yeah, heh. That too.”

I give you my number,
I tell you the time I’m leaving.
Our eyes meet again, and I am
lost.

And then you are gone.

I love coffee.

United/Divided

November 3, 2015

United/Divided

The words were spoken
can’t be unsaid.
You don’t want forever,
you’d rather be dead
than be with me.
You want to be free.

What’s left?
Was it a lie I was happy with?
When you really do go
I want to know
if you say what you said
out of fear
or because you really meant it.

It is as if you can’t recall
the nights of intimacy
and days of friendship the way
we spent every moment together.
The way we taste
together
of wine and sex and smoky cheese
and sweaty sheets.

Where did the anger come from?

The rage feels false, not the love.

And because I love you I want you to
stop.
Wait.
Remember the joy.
I know it was real for you too.

And know
I will let you go.

.

Consent

November 2, 2015

This is a page about surrender, about saying yes (Yes! Yes!). But this is also about consensual yesses. Both parties willing and discovering each other.

From the brilliant mind of Emmeline May (Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess), I share this analogy about sex and tea.

http://rockstardinosaurpirateprincess.com/2015/03/02/consent-not-actually-that-complicated/

And a lovely video about the same topic.

Cheers, lovely people! Be safe and consensual and enjoy the hell out of each other!

A somewhat sexist post caught my attention: 7 Ways a Gentleman Protects His Girl.

Here is a list of 7 Ways a Lady Protects Her Boy. (What? They said “girl.” That meant I HAD to say “boy.”) If you think this list is ridiculous, well, you may be right. But it is no more ridiculous than the other list. ^_^

1. A Lady Protects Him From Harm

He feels safe because a true lady would never go places where creepers might be. She avoids fights with other girls so he doesn’t feel the need to intercede (and possibly get his eyes scratched out). She allows him to walk her to her car, which she parked in a safe location to avoid dangerous situations.

2. A Lady Protects Him From The Elements

A lady always has an umbrella available so that they can share it with her boy. She walks well to the inside near buildings so he won’t be splashed by passing cars. She always remembers to bring a coat and hat so he won’t have to give up his, risking illness.

3. A Lady Protects His Heart

She commits to him and never strays from that commitment. If she does not feel committed, she does not enter into a relationship at all, so he should feel safe with her. If they break up, she waits a reasonable period of time before dating someone else to ensure his tender feelings aren’t bruised.

4. A Lady Protects His Reputation

She never gossips with her friends about the details of potentially embarrassing matters. She doesn’t brag about her prowess with him or discuss details of past relationships. That is how he knows she can and will be discreet. She is proud to introduce him to friends and family.

5. A Lady Protects His Feelings

She thanks him for the things he does to show his love. She does not demand that he love her the way she wishes, but understands the Five Love Languages, and respects his methods of showing love. She knows when he hasn’t had a meal and his blood-sugar is low, he may be more temperamental than usual, so instead of nagging, she sympathizes. She knows him, and knows how to tell when the anger he’s feeling isn’t about them, but about him.

6. A Lady Protects Him Sexually

She knows a one-night stand is never a good idea. When a man is with a Lady, he will know that she won’t take advantage of him and then cast him aside. She knows that if she looks at porn, it might make him feel like less of a man compared with the male star, so she refrains from it when he is with her. She is always cautious with a new sexual partner and is tested for STDs regularly, and is not ashamed to ask him to be tested as well.

7. A Lady Protects Him Spiritually

She respects his religion or lack of one, and supports his right to do what he needs to do to feel his soul is in good order. If he prays, she respects his faith and if she prays as well, they may well pray together. She understands that forcing him to go to church with her won’t make him spiritual, but will make him more stubborn. She accepts him as he is and does not try to change him.

That Night

December 5, 2014

An Idyll - Maurice William Greiffenhagen, 1891

An Idyll – Maurice William Greiffenhagen, 1891

That Night

Remember the night
under the bridge
when you held me
so very close
and opened your coat
so I could be warm
and I could feel
our hearts beating
so hard, so fast,
and then, when
our eyes met
I’ll never forget
how my breath
got caught somewhere
in the middle of my chest
and all of me ached
and yearned with
such sudden fire
it took me by
surprise.
Then
when
I looked up again
and met your eyes
I saw your fear
and eagerness
and with a pulse
of something
flaming
we
kissed.

Yes, that.

Do it again.