What We Are

November 6, 2015

What We Are

Certain scents move me in time.
Passing a carnival today,
the popcorn and frying food
mingled with apples and cinnamon,
the fresh autumn breeze,
and the crackle of leaves underfoot
took me back.

We’d been seeing each other
for just a short while.
We went to the fair,
still full of the wonder
of just holding hands.

We were so young.

It felt like the most important day of my life.
In a way, it was.

Sights and sounds blurred,
for I was looking at you,
looking at us,
feeling your hand in mine.

Food, sounds, so many people
all rushing by, all unimportant,
tasteless, invisible. We were ghosts
in the world, haunting ourselves.

At last, face aching from smiling,
feet numb and blistered
we went home to your place
for the first time.

How naturally we flowed into
each other’s arms.
How easily, comfortably we loved.
Unforgettable, the incredible sensations,
more intense for the newness.
How I loved you.

It was awkward and wonderful
and perfect.

It is perfect still.
Our knowledge of one another helps,
but each time adds to the others,
adds from the first
building our life together,
ecstasy and pain,
to make us what we are now.

.

Fairy Tale

November 5, 2015

Fairy Tale

Don’t think I haven’t seen you
watching me with my drink.
I’ve seen your eyes flick over me
I saw the subtle wink.

But I’m not what you think I am,
I’m not a good little girl.
I might be glad to take you home
and rock your little world.

But I don’t want a fairy tale,
I don’t need a shining knight.
I’m not looking for forever,
I’m just looking for tonight.

So come on over, sweetheart.
I’ll buy you a drink.
Let you look, look your fill.
I don’t care what you think.

I’ll show you just who I am,
and you may fall in love.
But I don’t want commitments,
I’m not what you’re dreaming of.

Cause I don’t want a fairy tale,
I don’t need a shining knigt.
I’m not looking for forever,
I’m just looking for tonight.

.

United/Divided

November 3, 2015

United/Divided

The words were spoken
can’t be unsaid.
You don’t want forever,
you’d rather be dead
than be with me.
You want to be free.

What’s left?
Was it a lie I was happy with?
When you really do go
I want to know
if you say what you said
out of fear
or because you really meant it.

It is as if you can’t recall
the nights of intimacy
and days of friendship the way
we spent every moment together.
The way we taste
together
of wine and sex and smoky cheese
and sweaty sheets.

Where did the anger come from?

The rage feels false, not the love.

And because I love you I want you to
stop.
Wait.
Remember the joy.
I know it was real for you too.

And know
I will let you go.

.

Consent

November 2, 2015

This is a page about surrender, about saying yes (Yes! Yes!). But this is also about consensual yesses. Both parties willing and discovering each other.

From the brilliant mind of Emmeline May (Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess), I share this analogy about sex and tea.

http://rockstardinosaurpirateprincess.com/2015/03/02/consent-not-actually-that-complicated/

And a lovely video about the same topic.

Cheers, lovely people! Be safe and consensual and enjoy the hell out of each other!

Last Night

November 1, 2015

Last Night

Did it happen to you
the way it happened to me?

I am awake and you’re still sleeping
and self-doubt steals into my sleepy mind.
I’m awake now, though.

It felt magical, our meeting.
It felt incredible, being with you
all night. You opened doors
I’ve kept locked for years.

And here I am with the first light of dawn
worrying.
Should I steal away?
Find my clothes and go?

I begin to doubt it could have been
as good for you.
I start to fear you are not
who I think you are, or
I am not who you really want.

I move closer to the side of the bed,
tentatively feeling for my phone
or looking for a clock,
retreating already into
my safe, careful world,
one you don’t belong in.

And then you feel me stir and roll over,
capturing me again, drawing me back,
“No, not yet. Don’t go.”

Your voice suffuses me with the same
pleasure, well-being, and, admit it,
lust
as it did last night.

We melt together again,
and I remember.

Yes, it was that good.
Ah, yes, yes, yes,
You think so too.

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